Sepi.4

Aku punya rasa. Aku tahu hati ku akan tiap kali tercalar apabila ada kata kata yg kurang menyenangkan. Aku punya maruah yang dahulunya aku memperjudikan. Kesal. Kecewa. Meratap. Meraung. Kerana kezaliman aku lakukan terhadap diri sendiri. Tapi kali ini kunci jiwa dan raga aku simpan, berjaga jaga. 

Kesunyian dihati ini, tipu kalau aku kata aku tidak mengharapkan manusia untuk mengisi kekosongan. Dan tipu jugalah kalau aku kata aku tidak sepi. Aku wanita biasa. Aku punya emosi yg menginginkan, mengharapkan, memerlukan dan menagih kasih. 

Sunyi. 

Aku sendiri.

Sepi.3

Suatu petang yang dingin. Kedengaran suaramu memanggil ku.. memanggil jiwa dan nyawa ku. Terasa angin menghembus lembut di hadapanku dan aku merapatkan tutup mataku…menghirup sedalam dalamnya kesegaran alam. Dengan perlahanya aku melepaskan nafas ku….lepas segala kegundahan dan keresahan…… 

“Allah…Hu..akbar… Allah…Hu Akbar….”

Ya Allah, Hanya Kau Yang lebih Mengetahui…. 

Astagfirullah al Azim….. 

#sepi #kotakhatipermata

Sepi.2

Ku curahkan segala kokosongan. Serahkan setiap kata yang mempunyai rasa. Ingin kuluahkn semuanya hanya kehabisan daya. Waktu itu, tiada yang ku perlu hanya ingin merasai wujudnya dakapan Ilahi. Merayu kasih dan cinta dari Ya Rahman. 

Ya Wadud, Jagalah hati ini dengan cinta MU.

Sepi.1

I have asked so many times and beg for mercy. I closed my eyes and let the tears run its course. I held my heart tight and tighten my jaws. I screamed so loud deafeningly unheard. I emptied out everything yet still unsatisfactory. I go down on my knee and put look up into the bare sky. The night dew pass by and it was calmly welcoming me. 

“Oh Lord! Please do not let me be in my empty soul, do not let me be free in the world of uncontrollable desires. Hold me please, hold me dearly….as I am looking and longingly for the love you sent to me..”

-Sepi-

Shovel

Running away is not my favourite thing to do nowadays. 

Getting away from something is what I do lately.

I do not want to be hook to some thing where I am treated as an option. 

No… I am not fussy. 

No… I am not choosy. 

You do not know how I deal with reality. 
And don’t you dare to come and tell me “Be Brave to Embrace”. 

Cos YOU do not dare to embrace my scars. 
#kotakhatipermata #WordPress #DARE #SHOVEL

Old Soul

On some days, she has bitter smile. 

On some days, she is Tequila & sugar lemon coat.

On some days, a black coffee goes very well. 

She is unable to read what’s with her tomorrow.  She keeps menu and write secret recipes. She knows the days her pimple pops and the ovulation ovulate. 
Still, she is unable to impress herself. She is unable to be impressive. 

She moved a step further each time just to hide the old soul she is. 

I see you

I see your face

I see your smile

I hear your laughter

I hear your voice

Calling us. 

Life is temporary in dunya.
Made a pact to myself

To hold every minute of every chances

I have to share my loves

In Shaa Allah.
#kotakhatipermata #hidupmati #duniaakhirat #livelaughlove #eatpraylove #moments #soulfulstories #lighthopelove #poetrysg #wordpress 

Breaking own heart

In desperation of wanting

In filling the loneliness.

Don’t.Cos the tears need rests
Do. Cos the heart need to know. 

Act as if we know, we care, we love

Act as if we own. Act and for all we realise, we find ourselves mazing through.

#kotakhatipermata #wordpress 

You.

You.

Yeah you.

You came in the door.

With ice cream and chocolates

Showered mashmellow and strawberries.

You. 

Yes you.

You took interest in every drop of tear. 

You took interest in taking me and place me in a safe par. 

With you.

Yes with you.

And now I do not feel it anymore. 

I smelt distance. 

Maybe I am not exciting anymore.

Or maybe I am not vulnerable for you to calm anymore. That boosts you – A Man. 

Maybe I like you but I am not enough for you too.